As growing up kids, we have so much to worry and ponder about. We have notes to be completed, exams to be written and the only aim in life is to achieve marks. I too like every kid have experienced the same kind of feeling. As a kid, I used to feel that once the exam is over, I would be free. I would get to play and enjoy. But after 2 months again, the entire process would begin. Then I thought one day I would grow up, have a good job, get married, have kids, be happy and so it was. Thank you Supreme Power for bestowing your grace on me.
As a kid I always thought that as long as you had food to eat and got to play, I would be happy, but growing up teaches you many things. Having grown up in a typical middle class family, there were adjustments that had to be done and many of you would be able to relate to me. There were times when I had to take up tuitions to buy that special outfit or to watch a movie. But it was still fun and it did not bother much that I had to work to get something. I relished in that thought that I was earning and was capable to pay for the outfit or the outing. It gave me a sort of kick.
Having lived in a typical chawl set up, there was so much of noise around, neighbours having an argument over the silliest of things, so at times, you do not get to relax and be the way you wish to. Quiet times and solitary times were few, actually NIL. It used to bother me during examinations as the noise was the only constant factor. I used to get irritated and just wanted some peaceful time to study and concentrate on preparation of my exams. I knew for sure that I could not control any of those situations because that was not within my capacity to do so.
This was the first lesson I learnt in Life that it is not possible to control situations, emotions and circumstances in life. That is constant. What I could do is to let go and try and change the way I perceived things because that is what can be changed and is achievable. It will make me more peaceful as a person and there will be fewer things to handle and crib about. Most of all, I do not want to overreact to many situations, but there are times that I do overreact as well. I simply try and cover it up saying Hey!!! I am Human!!!!
I am sure this is not an excuse and the only reason I am saying this is because I do not feel guilty. Atleast 6 out of 10 times, I try not to overreact and simply SMILE even if I know that things are not the way they are meant to be.
I am trying to practice many of the things that I read and believe, but at times, I am not able to do it everytime. Yes, I am on a journey, I have made a beginning for sure and am loving this transformation and pray to the Supreme Power to be my guiding light and show me the torch and lead me to the right path.
Love and blessings always !!!
Rekha
p.s: Getting rid of anxiety can solve many an embarrassing situation in our life and it will also give you the much desired peace of mind.
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