Many a times, we tend
to get depressed and do not feel good about ourselves. The reason for this could be many. But one of the reasons that I have identified
is the need to receive approval and be liked by one and all. The moment we feel that someone is not too
much in favour of our thoughts, behavior and the manner in which we speak and
behave, we tend to get a little uncomfortable.
Subconsciously, most of us (me included) at times try and seek
everyone’s approval and are not sure about ourselves. As long as we do not become a victim to it,
things would be fine, but if it is the only thing we are seeking out, we tend
to get addicted to it, which is definitely not a good sign. This calls for a
change in our thinking and we definitely can make the beginning, it is not all
that tough as we presume it to be.
Many of us want
everyone to like us – actually this is not wrong. I too love all the likes (the very fact that
there is a smile on my face when I see all the likes posted by many of my
friends on FB) is indication that I too am a party to this.
This gets me into
telling an incident that happened on Friday afternoon when I had left from
office early (the reason for early leaving was that I had to arrange for the
Navaratri gollu and the sthapana of the devi). As usual, I took an auto right
from office premises to Thane station. The
auto driver was patiently waiting for a customer and he was happy that he could
get one. I sat as usual and told him to
take me to Thane (West). The traffic was
just getting to its peak and it was touching 1 p.m. The auto driver for some
reason got talking about the roads and how the concrete roads were creating a
lot of stress on the tyres of the rickshaw. He also mentioned that the dambar
roads were good and were smooth. I asked him “Oh is it so!!”. He replied in his usual lingo “Haan madam”.
I said “Accha mujhe
nahin patha tha”. Then he started off
saying how Mumbai was getting too crowded, about the weather and basically
about the politicians. I tried to ease
him and changed the topic saying that Mumbai is much better as compared to many
other places ( the reason for my stating this was simply because after all I am
a Mumbaikar). The auto driver got
talking and he actually asked me “ Madam, Can I tell you my story|”. I was a little puzzled and surprised as to
what he wanted to tell me and of all people, ME. But I guess that was the day when he wanted
to pour his heart out.
I in my humorous tone
reciprocated “ haan bolo na, mujhe problem nahin hai, par jab thane station
aayega,meter bandh kar dena, aur job bhi bolna hai, aap boliye”. He had a chuckling
smile.
He then began by
saying how he lost his daughter aged 17 yrs.
Since my gut feel and intuitive powers are as strong, I asked him
whether it was suicide. I then realized
-Why the heck did I ask him that. But he
replied saying Haan madam. I asked him
what happened and whether it was a love issue. He again replied in unison. There again my gut feel supported me. The auto wala explained how his daughter who
had just given her 12th std ended her life as she was involved with
some teenager who had ditched her.
I asked him whether
his family was against it. The auto
walla said that he had explained to his daughter that mistakes do happen and
his family supported his daughter totally,irrespective of that small mistake
that she had committed. I was surprised
at the maturity of that person who I feel would not have been as literate as
many of us here. But I saluted his
maturity once again when he said “ Galti toh sab se hotha hai madam”. Life se jyaada aur kuch important nahin hai.
I thought to myself
this is a man who totally supported his daughter and I felt good that many of
the parents of today are much more understanding and loving and are trying to
be friends with their teenagers. However, the auto wala’s daughter felt ashamed
that she had degraded the respect of her parents and this is when in one of
those weak moments, she took the help of the noose and ended her life. When saying all this, I felt so bad from
within and my heart wept all the more considering it was when Navaratri was just
to begin. We all worship the Devi in the form of a mother, sister and daughter
and here is what is happening.
What I could deduce
from this was that the girl who committed suicide wanted some sort of approval
from everyone which was why she got weak and gave away. For her just seeking
approval from her parents was not enough.
He had just completed his story and I reached Thane station. I had
nothing to tell him or assure him. I
just paid him the money and told him GOD BLESS U ALWAYS.
I wish to sign off on
an abrupt note for this post and let’s retrospect from within and not seek
approval from one and all.
Signing off for now
Rekha
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