MY 100TH BLOGPOST- What should I write?

Amitabh Bachchan, the greatest Indian Actor,once said that he has butterflies everytime he gives a shot, be it for a new movie, an advertisement or even for a campaign. Every individual is like that.  There is anxiety filled when things are new and one is keen in giving the best every time.  The hard work, dedication and perseverance of Amitabh is something that makes him command respect and I completely adore him.

Reading and Writing has always been my passion.  I could just keep reading for hours together and I remember how during my school and college days, I used to read Women’s Era.  I used to go for the second hand books as the first hand ones were expensive.  I used to literally wait for the editions of WE.  Few articles used to get repeated but there was a thrill in reading WE on rainy afternoons once I was back from college tucking myself inside the comforter. My happiness knew no bounds.  Few of the characters in the stories touched my heart a lot.  It made me think how wonderfully the stories were written and I always used to think that one day I would write. Would write just for the thrill of it, voicing out my innermost feelings about life, relationships and everything that I felt and experienced.

For me writing this 100^th blogpost is giving me butterflies.  There are mixed emotions, I am happy as well as a little confused as to what to pen.  But I want to keep it simple.  The journey of writing a blog has been quite fulfilling and I everytime I sit down to write, thoughts and memories becomes fresh. Rewinding past memories of school, my first job, first salary, the first crush, my first debate, first prize and every happy moment is something that I keep rewinding and going through.  It is important that each one of us take out few minutes of our life and rewind those wonderful memories, I am sure you but can’t stop smiling.

My Milan trip was one such trip that gave me jitters as well as excitement and a proud feeling.  The travel in the bus from the apartment to the office was pleasant, at times it drizzled.  The walk to the nearby park during the lunch break was soothing. The cold winds made the atmosphere really wonderful.  The calls I made from Milan to Mumbai during those breaks in that park with so much to talk to are something that I will always remember.  Counting the days when I would be back in Mumbai is something that I looked forward to.  Few experiences and incidents in life are such that it leaves a lasting mark in our mind and soul.  The manner in which my little princess rummaged my bags to check what I had bought from Milan is something that brings a smile on my face.  I remember I used to do the same when my Appa used to be back from office and I always felt there was something for me in his briefcase. It could be a simple thing like a new pen or a new notebook.  Even now the thought is so fresh in my mind as if it has just taken place yesterday.

Even simple things like getting wet in the rain, eating bhutta, watching a romantic movie with Maddy are things that cannot be expressed in words.  Shopping with my daughter at Hill Road, eating Ragda Pattice and Pani puri at Elco is something that cannot be compared to the fine dine restaurants (of course these are my thoughts).  Walking down the Mulund market which is perpetually busy and shopping for clothes and chunky jewelry is something that I till date enjoy and I pray that I continue to do so and my interest lasts.  Last but not the least; eating the dabheli and having the heavenly sugar cane juice is something that satiates my soul completely.

Having said that I will like to say a big Thanks to all those people who look forward to reading my blogposts and getting back to me with messages, SMSes and private messages.  All your likes and comments are etched in my heart and I will continue to write.

Thanks to all you wonderful people.

Keep loving me and blessing me always!!

                                                                                               

Rekha

Having somewhere to go is home and having loved ones with you is Family!!! What more can I ask for

There are many people in my life who have touched my heart and soul in more ways than one. One such person is Monideepa Joydhar (Moni) and I love you Moni for the way you have been with me in good times as well as in my not so good times.  Our friendship started with Uhde India and she continues to be a pillar of support and her zest, attitude and positivity is something that I still adore and will continue to do so.  Moni called me up just the other day and was so happy after I wrote the blogpost about my Milan trip. From her voice and her enthusiasm, I knew that she just wanted to leave everything aside and rush to me to know more about me and my feelings and emotions, when I was on that trip.  Few people can just relate to you just the way you are and even in silence there is a lot of communication.  We may not necessarily call up each other, chat for hours and even see each other for months, but when you really want someone to talk to, there is this one person who genuinely is there for you, listens to you without judging you absolutely.  It is important that each one of us try and identify one such individual.  In times of anxiety, depression and days when we are down, this is one person whom we can rely completely upon.

Some more incidences from my Milan trip:

The Mumbai Istanbul Milan flight was good and I was absolutely comfortable with it.  My friend in office Tejal had ensured that I got an aisle seat and a comfortable seat.  Food was not on my mind as I had already convinced my brain that food is something that I would have adjust during my stay in Italy.  A friend of mine had already fed a lot of information in my mind that. When you are in Rome, behave like a Roman or act like a Roman.

I reach the Malpensa airport, a pretty quiet one, unlike the Dubai Airport or even our T2 International airport.  I liked it.  Italians as such are very friendly and warm people as compared to many of the European countries (this is what I have heard), though am not quite sure about it, frankly I haven’t visited too many countries.  The taxi was waiting for me and it was quite a big sedan.  I had readily kept the sheet where the address was written.  He spoke to me in broken English and all the while in the taxi, I was skeptical if he was driving me to the correct destination. But it was conveyed to me by my Indian office that Milan is a safe place and even at midnight women could travel alone.  Having said all that, my mind would still have doubts.  But somewhere I had read that the more you doubt, you are distancing yourself from your goal.  Ultimately I reach the destination – my apartment.

The building or the hotel where I was put up looked like one of the old European buildings and I had seen something like this in Romedy Now Channel.  I knew I would be missing out on my English movies as well and this was totally uneasy for me. 

The chauffeur helps me get my baggage to the reception of the apartment.  The receptionist Gloria was a very warm lady and instantly I could connect with her.  I went to my apartment and kept my luggage, 2 big bags and a small bag where my mother had packed all the necessary eating stuff.  I was really hungry and I opened the packet where my amma had packed theplas for me.  My throat choked on seeing the packet.  See how our mind plays tricks.  I felt cold, I was not able to explain what was happening to me.  The hunger vanished suddenly and it was taken over with some feeling of emptiness.  It was not even 30 mints I landed in the apartment.

I pacified myself that I had to be here only for 30 days and in a jiffy it could be managed.   It was drizzling slightly out and I stood near the window looking at the drizzle.  It took me back to Sion where my room faces bang opposite the Sion Fort which is lush with greenery and when it drizzles, it looks sooooooo beautiful.  I always enjoyed looking at the rain and sipping my chai or kaapi with some dry snacks.  Every time the drop of rain fell on the sill, it would wet my face and I loved doing that. The rains were different here, the furniture was different, the feel of the mattress was different, the table, chair – you name anything, it was different. Nothing here was mine except for my body, mind and soul – now even that was not mine. I was only physically present here and had left my mind and soul back in Mumbai.  It was getting dark and I had still not had the enthusiasm to unpack my bags and arrange my stuff.  Never ever had I felt so sluggish and lethargic, I knew I had to do it though.  The only good thing was that I could get to skype with Maddy and Jyothi and could see them. But mind said, you can only see them, you can get to feel them or hug them.  I wanted to hug Jyothi and Maddy badly and tell them that how much I was missing them.  But I knew that these were the initial days and within 2 days, I would get back to normal.  Patience told me that I had to wait and watch and have patience.

More to come.

Lots of Luv

Rekha

p.s. : I sincerely feel all those people who leave their families in pursuit of their job need to be saluted.  It takes a lot of guts and mental strength to live away from one’s family and friends and to accept the new changes in life, be it a new job, country, people, language, food..

You always receive what you ask for - My musings with Milan

What was happening to me? I was totally not in a position to understand what my hormones were aiming for?  There were mixed feelings and emotions within me. Anxiety can be good as long as it knows its limits.  But what happens when there is fear mixed with anxiety, I have gone through ten days of anxiety (I can only summarise that the fear of being alone gripped me so much that I didn’t want to be away from Maddy even for a minute).

Was I supposed to be happy that I was getting this opportunity or was I sad that I would be away from this closely knit immediate family.  But somewhere there was happiness that this life time opportunity had come to me, something that I could never even have dreamt about.  Solitude can weigh heavily on our minds and brain and if one goes weak, it can prove to be very difficult.

The D Day arrived.  Had to pack bags for the deputation to the romantic city of Italy. I had heard that Milan was a beautiful and place where couples could just chill out and be their self. But I was travelling alone, completely by myself.  My little devil helped me pack my bags.  Had it been with family, my excitement would have been uncontrollable, I knew that well. 

30 kgs was that I could carry and I knew that my luggage would not exceed so much. Amma and Appa were there the previous night with me just telling me as to how I needed to manage there.  Everyone was there to see me off. There was excitement in me, a little bit of anxiety. I was going to discover a new place, something I had never ever done in my life. Was going to go to a place without Maddy (that was something totally unthought of).  I believe the Universe grants us things and situations in life, exactly in the manner in which the order has been placed. I was unsure as to whether I had asked for this?  My thoughts run haywire and I was convinced that Yes, I would have asked for some quiet place and minutes of solitude (especially on those days when I used to get dead tired) on returning from office. And yes the Universe answers all our questions and prayers.  It answered mine too.

I enter the T2 airport with 3 bags and my lappy.  Maddy is waiting outside. I turn behind and suddenly this thought (Why the hell am I travelling alone).I caught his expressions – he was feeling bad to let me go alone and that too to a foreign country.  I get goosebumps even now when I try to rewind that situation.  However, I would want to erase this situation from my life as staying away from family is not something that excites me and has never excited me.Tears rolled down my cheeks and I am unable to see clearly. I wiped my tears as Maddy always used to say that smile, it makes you look better and beautiful. If you cry, I am going to know and I did not want his heart to know that I was crying and not very excited about travelling alone.  Work was on my mind and I enjoyed and loved my job, so the burden was definitely less.

More to come!!!!

Remain blessed always

Rekha