Tuesday, 28 January 2025

When you are just on survival mode !!!! Snap out and choose your space of happiness

 


“Happiness is not something ready-made. It comes from your own actions.” ~Dalai Lama”

 

This is quite a loaded statement but also a difficult one to understand at one glance. I had to re-read it to make sense of it.

It was one of those lazy Sundays where I was sipping my coffee on my Jhoola (wooden swing). That’s where I feel the most peaceful when the sun has just begun rising and the entire sky has embraced the orange golden hues.  The sight is just surreal, and you want to just be in that space.  I had just begun enjoying that feeling when my mobile rang.

“Hi Swati!!! “ How are you doing and how are things.  Me and Swati exchanged the initial hi and hellos and then Swati’s voice drops and she appeared very worried.  I have known Swati for more than 4 decades now. Silence speaks more than words and I guessed it right.

“Rekha, my daughter has really not been in a good state of mind since a long time she sighed.

Swati has a son and a daughter.  Her daughter Shikha had been abroad for higher studies and served in a multinational company for a year and half and later settled down in Oman.  I know both her kids, well brought up and respectful.

Shikha would be around 28 plus and with the change in the country, she was sort of trying to settle in, in the new culture, workplace etc.  A very independent woman for what I know of her- it was very unusual that she would feel so low.

An excellent painter alongwith love of music were something additional that she loved doing.  She was undergoing a lot of changes in her personal life as well as professional life, making it difficult for her to adjust with ease. Shikha was also trying to settle in with a boy whom she was dating for close to a year.  They were a sort of understanding couple and you could call them a compatible couple.

What really upset Shikha many a times was that she was overqualified for the job that she was doing and somewhere she was not feeling accomplished. Her peers who were not even half as qualified as her were drawing a better paycheck than her. Her personal life with her boyfriend also had its own share of ups and downs, added to it her boyfriend was finding it difficult to get a job of his choice and terms. Overall, she was sort of clueless and was trying to figure out things for herself.

I sat for a while and analysed all the circumstances.  Swati told me that they tried explaining things to her, they said all the right positive stuff etc.

I too as a genuine family member gave my share of advice to Shikha and explained to her that in spite of all those difficulties and apprehensions that she is going through right now, she still has a job, she has a roof over her head and food on her table.  We explained to her that many of her peers and friends do not even have all those that she could boast about.

But was that all that life is about !!! 

Actually, after a thought provoking discussion with myself, I said to myself that everyone of us are just trying to survive.  Shikha, as well like many of us is  just trying to manage things for her physical survival.  What about the emotional part?   She was good in music, painting.  She had forgotten the artist in her, be it painting sketching, something that came so naturally to her.  I remember when she was growing up she would sit for hours together to draw the Mandala art which called for a lot of attention and dexterity of hands.

In the daily rut, she did not feed her mind and emotions, and most of all - her soul with what she loved doing.

We do everything for our family and friends. Somehow we forget what we love doing for our happiness.

I explained to Shikha that when the time comes, nothing is going to stop her from getting a new job, new home, better colleagues and work atmosphere.  The Universe knows exactly when to give !!! She doesnt delay for sure. Her boy friend too would find something he is good in  But is it worth just wasting that precious time just worrying and not doing something that we like?  Time Heals – I told her , it can truly heal a lot of deep wounds.

I took Shikha into confidence and explained to her – Life will go on, but never forget to do things for yourself, things that you love, things that you find peace in!!

I knew the only way to rekindle her life and soul was to gift her something that would bring a smile on her face !!! I got her some paints, brushes and a couple of drawing boards.

Her face and eyes lit up like a child !!! It was as if the Universe also communciated to me through Shikha what I am supposed to be doing.  

 

Loads of love to all!!!

Rekha Mahadevan

 

The names used in this article are all fictional and care has been taken not to hurt anyone’s feelings.


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