When you are just on survival mode !!!! Snap out and choose your space of happiness

 

“Happiness is not something ready-made. It comes from your own actions.” ~Dalai Lama”

 

This is quite a loaded statement but also a difficult one to understand at one glance. I had to re-read it to make sense of it.

It was one of those lazy Sundays where I was sipping my coffee on my Jhoola (wooden swing). That’s where I feel the most peaceful when the sun has just begun rising and the entire sky has embraced the orange golden hues.  The sight is just surreal, and you want to just be in that space.  I had just begun enjoying that feeling when my mobile rang.

“Hi Swati!!! “ How are you doing and how are things.  Me and Swati exchanged the initial hi and hellos and then Swati’s voice drops and she appeared very worried.  I have known Swati for more than 4 decades now. Silence speaks more than words and I guessed it right.

“Rekha, my daughter has really not been in a good state of mind since a long time she sighed.

Swati has a son and a daughter.  Her daughter Shikha had been abroad for higher studies and served in a multinational company for a year and half and later settled down in Oman.  I know both her kids, well brought up and respectful.

Shikha would be around 28 plus and with the change in the country, she was sort of trying to settle in, in the new culture, workplace etc.  A very independent woman for what I know of her- it was very unusual that she would feel so low.

An excellent painter alongwith love of music were something additional that she loved doing.  She was undergoing a lot of changes in her personal life as well as professional life, making it difficult for her to adjust with ease. Shikha was also trying to settle in with a boy whom she was dating for close to a year.  They were a sort of understanding couple and you could call them a compatible couple.

What really upset Shikha many a times was that she was overqualified for the job that she was doing and somewhere she was not feeling accomplished. Her peers who were not even half as qualified as her were drawing a better paycheck than her. Her personal life with her boyfriend also had its own share of ups and downs, added to it her boyfriend was finding it difficult to get a job of his choice and terms. Overall, she was sort of clueless and was trying to figure out things for herself.

I sat for a while and analysed all the circumstances.  Swati told me that they tried explaining things to her, they said all the right positive stuff etc.

I too as a genuine family member gave my share of advice to Shikha and explained to her that in spite of all those difficulties and apprehensions that she is going through right now, she still has a job, she has a roof over her head and food on her table.  We explained to her that many of her peers and friends do not even have all those that she could boast about.

But was that all that life is about !!! 

Actually, after a thought provoking discussion with myself, I said to myself that everyone of us are just trying to survive.  Shikha, as well like many of us is  just trying to manage things for her physical survival.  What about the emotional part?   She was good in music, painting.  She had forgotten the artist in her, be it painting sketching, something that came so naturally to her.  I remember when she was growing up she would sit for hours together to draw the Mandala art which called for a lot of attention and dexterity of hands.

In the daily rut, she did not feed her mind and emotions, and most of all - her soul with what she loved doing.

We do everything for our family and friends. Somehow we forget what we love doing for our happiness.

I explained to Shikha that when the time comes, nothing is going to stop her from getting a new job, new home, better colleagues and work atmosphere.  The Universe knows exactly when to give !!! She doesnt delay for sure. Her boy friend too would find something he is good in  But is it worth just wasting that precious time just worrying and not doing something that we like?  Time Heals – I told her , it can truly heal a lot of deep wounds.

I took Shikha into confidence and explained to her – Life will go on, but never forget to do things for yourself, things that you love, things that you find peace in!!

I knew the only way to rekindle her life and soul was to gift her something that would bring a smile on her face !!! I got her some paints, brushes and a couple of drawing boards.

Her face and eyes lit up like a child !!! It was as if the Universe also communciated to me through Shikha what I am supposed to be doing.  

 

Loads of love to all!!!

Rekha Mahadevan

 

The names used in this article are all fictional and care has been taken not to hurt anyone’s feelings.

Finding JOY in the ROUTINE

I am sure all of us may have heard many a times that routine is boring.  But trust me,  ROUTINE can be a real boon especially once you cross 50.  Ask me -  a 50 year young woman, I like my routine.  Basic things like getting up, having my filter coffee (jhulelaaal - is the name given to me by my favorite person). Cooking a wholesome breakfast be it idli, dosa, poha, upma, rava dosa - packing the same for my breakfast.  Arranging the breakfast and the lunch in the right containers for hubby dear.  This may appear simple yet so silly.  But this is what I find JOY in.

Reaching my office, my desk, working on my office laptop, chitchatting with my colleagues who have more or less become family to me.  The topic discussions range from politics, to life to as simple as how our commute was today gives immense pleasure. I guess after spending a decade and more in one of the places (my office) that provides me my bread and butter alongwith the ability to have fun is something that I THANK Almighty for.

The known faces in the office, the knickknacks on my office desk, the feel of the drawer and the books around.  My coffee mug, the posters that are hung on the wall of my desk.  It may sound weird, but the sound of the coffee machine makes me feel so much at HOME.  The aroma of the coffee that fills every nerve of me is gastronomic.

It is hard yet so easy to describe what makes me HAPPY.  Coming back home and then quickly whipping my Koffee and managing the night dinner and then bumping on the bed, watching my favorite NETSERIES or any webseries with my beloved hubby. It's a different thing that within minutes I am fast asleep just to be woken yet again to watch the next episode.  It may sound silly but I love the routine.  It is in these small moments and the routine that I find my joy and happiness.

There is more to cover in the series of ROUTINE  !! Will surely nudge my brain more to write about my favorite topics for sure!!! Stay tuned for more of these simple joys.

Let me know in the comments where you find your moments of joy and happiness!!

p.s. This s the first post of January 2024 and I encourage myself to get back to writing, which is what brings me joy.

Yours lovingly

Rekha 

Getting Karanjified – Then and still !!!!

Come Diwali and I have a lot of lovely memories of delicious sweets and savories being made not only in my home but also my neighbor’s homes.  I remember my mom used to tell me I used to hop around all homes (having been brought up in a typical Bombay chawl – where the doors used to close only during the night time).  There was free flow of people walking into each other’s homes and checking out what was cooking or made.  Difficult to imagine if I could now relive that moment again.  Not quite sure on that!.

One such sweet that I really used to look forward to eating was at one of my Maharashtrian friend’s home and that was Karanji.  I loved the shape and the ease at which Mangodkar maavshi used to make these.  I sat at her place (never ever bothering if my friend Poornima was around)- I danced to the kitchen and saw how maavshi made the filling for the karanji.  Also remembering, that my mom made laddoos both of rava and pulses, then mysorepak and coconut barfi.  But never ventured to try this lovely delicacy.

Maavshi told me that this is a pure Maharashtrian sweet and that’s the reason amma did not make it.  Anyways, I wasn’t much bothered as I knew she would definitely send a good amount home.  I remember me telling her that I love karanjis.  Sweet as she was, she said “Ho ga, mee tujha ghari pathavnaar.  Tension gheu nako”).  Yes, one major hurdle was covered.  Surely, these sweet dumplings are going to land in my home.

I gazed at the ease at which she mixed the filling for the karanjis.  It was rava, coconut, jiggery, kismis and few dryfruits along with cardamom powder. They looked just so beautiful on the big plate that she had laid down and side by side made the covering of the Karanjis with maida.  The covering just romanced the filling so beautifully and it’s a visual delight to see the outer design (interwoven with such dexterity).  But that’s not all, these lovely dumplings now had to be fried using some precision so that they do not splutter out, lest the filling would spill out spoiling the entire dish.

Even now, I can visualize the tensed brows of maushi till she fried these. It seemed to me like a T20 match between INDIA and PAKISTAN, with just one over left and 6 runs needed.  In fact, much more tension filled than those.  The karanjis were waiting to get karanjified, there they went into the oil and guess what, it didn’t splutter.  The child that I was, I screamed in happiness as if those were fried by me.  The scene was anywhere like INDIA winning against PAKISTAN, the joy and happiness incomparable.  Maavshi, let out a sigh of relief, yes, the filling was intact and the karnjis were golden brown just so perfect. AND I WAS HAPPY!!!!  She immediately offered it to Padurang (an idol on their Devsthal) and then called out to me “AATA KHAAON BAGH” (not you can eat these).

With a patient waiting of more than two hours or more, atlast she offered me the lovely karanjis, and sabar ka phal meetha hota hai, sorry Karanji hota hai.  So yes, I was karanjified and I loved it.

I still love these and everytime someone offers me a karanji, it takes me back to those lovely days and lucky as I have always been, I always get to have a bite of these.

Love

Rekha

The humble thaiyir saadam (curd rice) – Not humble anymore !!!!

When I was little, I remember my mom soaking the left over rice in water in an uruli (copper or bronze utensils) . She used to allow the rice to ferment overnight. Me and my little sister Radhika never looked forward to having this as breakfast the next day as we always used to feel this is baasi food (old) . Nothing could one compare hot piping dosas and vadas to curd rice . Idli always won the third price. We could even do with Upma (which never used to make it to the Top 3 ever).  But amma insisted that we eat curd rice with pickled mangoes.

She used to sell this idea to us that we would grow smarter and stronger if we had Pazhaya saadam which means old rice.  Amma used to say you could live a healthy rich life if you take this poor man’s food.  Hidden Targets you see,  the rice couldn’t be thrown away.  So, we were the glorious recepients of pazhya sadam. I being the argumentative type and questioning type, used to ask her to as to why this was never served to appa(my dad) and she had quite an assertive look on her face saying that its only for the kids. No questions were asked further!!! The look on her face was enough to make me dumb atleast for sometime.

Amma used to nicely mash the rice, add some buttermilk some coarse salt and garnish it with a little mustard seeds, some neatly sliced green chilies and there we go. I remember vividly that me and my sister used to have a competition as to who would finish off the curd rice faster. There is a saying that the finger tips of moms have nectar flowing and God has designed it in that manner.  Me and my sister agree on this since it used to taste so good.  My daughter vouches for it, so I can also double vouch on this one!!!

With Google mama helping us in every sphere nowadays, he says curd rice contains B12 and rich probiotics.  Really!!!!! Fermented Rice, they say.  It has a whole lot of complex B vitamins and lot of fiber which could help you lose weight and at the same time keep you hale and hearty.   With high levels of energy getting introduced in your system, one can also rest assured about the blood parameter levels.

I still try and make it for me some days and carry it in steel dabba.  Curd rice tastes good only when its packed in steel dabbas and not plastic ones (have tried them) so can talk about them.

Having brought up in a traditional South indian family with just home cooked meals (like in case of most of us) eating out was very rare.  Also with deep traditional roots especially when it came to matters related to food, if a dish has to be cooked in coconut oil or til oil, nothing else could be used for sure. We as a family use a lot of simple health spices (as they call it).  Hing is something we cannot do without and so are curry leaves.  Not to forget the dark coloured gur or jaggery.  Garnishing has to be with curry leaves and coriander or else usmein mazaa nahin hai.  

The other day I happened to go to a typical Udipi hotel and asked for thayir saadam (curd rice) and shelled out around seventy rupees (Rs 70/-). Not humble any more!!!!

So that’s all for now

CYA with something interesting and spicy – stay tuned!!!!

Love

Rekha

DEAR CHAI !!!! –ME, YOU and BREAD TOAST – THE KING OF GOOD TIMES!!!!

DEAR CHAI  !!!! –ME,  YOU and BREAD TOAST – THE KING OF GOOD TIMES!!!!

Dear Chai,

How can I forget the good times I have had with you and our friend bread toast.  You guys have stayed with me through thin and thick (first I was thin and then became thick- pun intended).  Yes, in spite of this, you have comforted me during all those times of growing up when I was preparing for my exams, when mom was out for a vacation leaving me and my sister to run the home, during those times when I had a fight with my best friend, during those days of chums. You never gave up on me.

You have never left my side.  I adore you and would never ever give up on you.  Be it any comfort food in the world like pizza, pasta or Maggi, I can never settle for anything other than you. You know it well and I am happy about it.

During days of my growing up, we had these Iranian cafes.  My Dad took me to one of those cafes that served bun maska and I used to love it with hot piping tea.  I told amma to make something like that but she said it wasn’t possible to make it exactly like the Iranian guy. So that’s when she made something like a bread toast and masked it with home made butter with powdered sugar.  I felt if there was heaven on earth, it was this. Even now, I love my big cup of Chai with deep toasted bread with ghee and powdered sugar. The look on my face is like a child looking at a bar of chocolate.

The gastronomical high it can give me is just so delectable and plain and filled with nostalgia. The toast getting dipped in hot tea and making it slightly soft just right for my tongue is ambrosia.  The mating of the toast with tea is pure love and I have no words to express this unity with which they choose to stay inseparable from each other. If its tea, it has to be bread toast and so on.  Yes, but the story does not end here.  We also have another heroine in this story, its our salty Khari biscuit.

Have you heard the story of Krishna with two consorts Rukmini and Satyabhama.  Bread toast is like Rukmini and khari biscuit is like Satyabhama.  This can be ridiculous for the readers but for me its true in one way.  AS long as it brought a smile on your face, I am fine with it.  In our life, we can always relate certain life events to certain objects.  For me Chai is like the loveable and ever encompassing SriKrishna.  The king of good times, Dear Chai you are like Krishna. You will engulf everyone in you and you are eternal. What more can I speak about you, Dear Chai?

Toh isi baat pe ho jaaye ek pyaali chai?

Love always

Rekha

The God we seek everyday – Brahma, Vishnu and Mahesh (Maheshwara) – The Auto aka Rickshaw

The God we seek everyday – Brahma, Vishnu and Mahesh (Maheshwara) – The Auto aka Rickshaw

Yes, indeed, this is the god of everyday life that I feel each and every Mumbaikar seeks out first thing in the morning,  be it rushing to the office, school, meeting, shopping – you name it, a mantra for everyday commute is Eh Auto or rickshaw!!  For me, my day begins with taking the auto to the station, from there train and once I get down at the station, it is again seeking out help to the TRINITY once again.  Mornings are rushy for the Trinity bearers as well, the effortless manoeuvring of the auto is done with such ease. He will manage to peep the nose of his auto amongst crowded streets.  I have also found names written behind autos really intriguing, it will range from Munni badnaam hui to Khuda se Darr.  It can be anything from Babli aur Bunty to Diljale.  Another funny quote was Ram Yug mein Doodh mila, Krishna Yug mein Ghee… Is Yug mein Daroo mili, Khub dabaa ke Pee".  “Boyfriend ke saath baithkar, bhaiya bolna mana hai”.

Once I read something even funnier and really had a good laugh first thing in the morning and that’s like a good dose of vitamin D. It read something like “She is my girl, so beware” !!!. Seriously!!  I am really at wits end to understand this.  But yes, when I am plunged comfortably in an auto, I look out for autos with funny quotes. 

The 3 gods have to really tackle a lot of speed breakers (I beg to differ) on this one.  They actually are like small hillocks and you need to really hold on to your karma if you do not want to be thrown out of the auto.  If you are lucky and you have got an autodriver who is on the other side of bad karma, karma struck(lolz) you would reach your destination safely and securely.  Reaching one’s workplace is totally karma driven (I believe).

With years of travelling by auto and having learnt to distinguish the good karma driver with the not so good ones, I generally am on time.  I have come across repeat drivers who know my place of work by now drop me to my office.  Similarly, I have had instances where they tell me Madam, mera rickshaw khaali hai, can I drop you?  It sounds like AAja meri gaadi mein baithja  (Anu Malik seriously would have travelled by autos I guess so)!! Feels as if the Gods have showered their grace on me.  This grace is restricted to specific timings and if I reach the station after 9 a.m. it can be an absolute commotion and that day even grace hasn’t descended on you.  And if one of them happens to say yes to drop you, that particular moment is a moment equivalent to winning a lottery or India making it to the World Cup) and I am serious about it.

There are different types of vaahanchalak (aka autowallahs)-ones who keep continuously chattering and expecting a reply when the earplugs are literally kissing your ears.  They would not spare you till you hear their harikatha (family history).  Few others do not respond to your directions and few of them actually having loud music playing on their autos.  I generally avoid such vaahanchalaks.

Recently, I happened to get into a disco auto, it was somewhat around 7 p.m.  It was all red and blue upholstery with lights bordered and photograph of every Bollywood actor on the interiors of the auto. I felt as if I was in some mela.  It was really weird and everytime my auto stopped at the signal, the onlookers looked and smiled at me.  I cannot but express how I felt at that point in time.  See the list can get really long, but I would stop here giving you all some breathing space from this long long post.  Thanks for reading such a  lonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng one.

Cya with yet another interesting encounter.  Till then, byee!!

Love

Rekha

Pinned my soul with the Nose pin – Happiness is!!!!

Pinned my soul with the Nose pin – Happiness is!!!!

I am someone who loves to dress up, irrespective of the occasion, I like to look good and happy, just the way I am. I have been a lover of accessories right from my childhood and I remember my mom mentioning this to me.  I remember how I used to have this absolute joyful look when I entered the bangles stores or the earrings shop (those days we didn’t have quite a lot of choices as compared to today’s shops or malls).

My first tryst with nose pins began when I just chanced upon an online site where few women posed just so elegantly and that’s when it hit me.  Why not try these lovely accessory pieces?  I didn’t have a nose pierce in a young age so I also did not want to take the trouble of piercing my nose permanently.  What if it pained and what if I wanted to discontinue wearing these?  So the press ones were the perfect arrangement for me. I could be my own boss, Wear it or discard it !! I wasn’t sure about how these would look and hence didn’t not order them online.  But went to a proper shop and tried out few of those.  I tried them just like a teenager, looking into the mirror back and forth and gaping in awe of myself and the feeling was surreal. That’s how these pieces of jewelry became a part of me and I would try and pair them with every outfit.

I started dating these tiny and cute pieces of jewelry around 2014 and from that time, there has been no looking back.  I look out for these at exhibitions, small shops or even the vendor who sells these in the train.  Be it enamel, silver, gold studded, black oxidized ones – the joy that it gives me is profound.

A nose pin can never be underestimated since I am of the opinion that it also gives a kind of symmetry to your overall look and it can make a dull face looking absolutely stunning.  It is so much a part of me just like my red lipstick.  I read a very beautiful line in one of the blogs that I read regularly.  Celebrate life!!! It is when I read such mindful stuff that it intrigues me into thinking that Yes it is.  Life is a celebration.  So celebrate every moment of it. We get this gift of 24 hours daily from the Divine.  Use it wisely, happily and to spread love and peace.

I celebrate myself daily by doing things that I love and celebrate it for everything that it has offered me.  These simple things could be anything from buying the simplest of things like a nosepin or a matching bindi or something as simple as road side shopping from Mulund market.  If I see it, feel happy and joyful about it, I buy it.  That’s my happiness quotient!!

P.S.: A RED BINDI, A RED LIPSTICK AND A NOSEPIN CAN NEVER GO WRONG!! TRUST ME-  keeps me happy and in joy

Love

Rekha Mahadevan